The Village Bicycle

Compared to my mother, I’m an over-relaxed, laid-back Californian. To myself, I’m a little too nervous for my own good. Sometimes I’m blinded by my nervousness when it really matters. Take every single time I’ve ever applied to work for the Oakland A’s . I don’t know what my block is, but whenever I submit a cover letter, it’s always riddled with typos. Why do I do that? Do I not want the job? I’m an editor for a fairly large company and several websites, why can’t I write a simple one-page cover letter?

This past Saturday, I went as far as to hand a printed copy of my cover letter to the broadcasting manager with the Athletics. Today, I re-read my copy of it for the 500th time, and I don’t know why I see all the typos now - but there they are. Bright and clear and awful, making today one of regret and anxiety; a day of skipping my morning French class to watch Fever Pitch before work — and then google searching “Dealing with failure ” while at work.

Yoga. I should do some yoga on my lunch break (god, I’m soo California). Meditate on learning from my failures, growing up, and moving on. I floss twice a day, work out, eat right, study marketing concepts and revenue projections - I’m a capable woman and damn it; I’m going to move past my silly typos. Maybe I should just hire an editor. Someone who doesn’t know me and can tear my cover letters apart before they’re submitted. Hmmm. Hiring someone doesn’t really help me take responsibility for getting nervous and overlooking important details, which is what I need to do. Maybe I should take a beginning English class at the local community college — forget that I have a degree in Writing and Literature

Tonight I’ll work on my A’s follow up and marketing proposals. I’ll get a copy of the July issue of Men’s Health (MH always makes everything better - its the greatest publication of all time), go to the gym, and watch the A’s game from my elliptical trainer - slowly burning stress and regret with calories.

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